Around this time of year, many of us take a moment or two to reflect on
what the preceding 12 months had in store. Was it a winning year for you?
Was it the most trying year of your life? No matter how you slice it,
looking back creates in most people the desire to “take the bull
by the horns” and really win at life in the coming New Year. But
HOW do we do that?
The answer to that question is a little different for each of us. If you
look at societal statistics, many people in the U.S. approach “winning
at life” with new or renewed commitments to diet and exercise. Some
take a stab at it through clearing out the clutter in their homes, minds
and lives. Still others approach it in a thousand different ways and for
most folks over the following few months, no matter the form the attempt
took, the commitment begins to fizzle.
That predictable fizzle of motivation to keep up the good work comes largely
from the fact that there is no magic bullet train to success – in
business, in sports, or in life. Winning at life really does involve a
series of small commitments, over time. It doesn’t come from quirky
habit adjustments or popularly-timed fads. Over the course of my career,
I’ve seen successful people who are truly happy (you can’t
have one without the other, my friends) commit to some values that may
not seem all that important, but can pay huge life dividends over the
long-term:
Adaptability – The world’s most successful people are pretty adaptable.
That means they can change. They can change their approach to a problem,
their perspective on a relationship and yes, they can even change their
minds, easily. They do it without goading or resentment, but with vigor
and tenacity. People who can change their minds aren’t wishy-washy.
They’re adaptable. And in a world that looks different from one
day to the next, it’s a life skill worth honing.
Selflessness – People who are successful in life are also often givers. Not necessarily
of money, though they may give monetarily too. But successful folks are
often selfless sharers of their time and their talents, especially with
people who have less than they do. Just so you know, there is ALWAYS someone
with less than you.
Wisdom – Successful people are wise. This isn’t the same thing as
being smart. A vast number of people are smart or have great expertise
in their areas of expertise. Wisdom however comes from a different place.
Wisdom is a quiet voice that listens well and humbles itself to learn
life’s lessons in ways that aren’t always glamorous.
Forgiveness – A few paragraphs up, I said that you can’t be successful
without also being happy. It’s true. You can be wealthy and be wildly
unhappy. That’s not success in life. You also can’t be happy
without being able to forgive. Resentment, mistrust and hatred will propel
you down a path to despair faster than a New York subway can take you.
They’re emotions that are focus-consuming and perspective-distorting.
If you’ve got someone in your life that you have a tough time forgiving
– it may be time to try, even if it’s just in your mind and
heart. You can’t win at life if you’re bogged down by negativity
and the true beneficiary of your forgiveness? It’s actually you!
This year, as you renew that gym membership and commit to a fresh start,
why not try on some adaptability, selflessness, wisdom and forgiveness
exercises on for size at the same time? I’ll tell you this, if you
can master those – you’ll absolutely be able to tackle the
treadmill. Win-win. It’s always within.
Happy New Year!